Covid-19 Short Story - Once loved ( in English and Chinese )

Once loved *** short story written in both English and Chinese

I stood in front of the window, looking at the drizzling rain.  In the mist, I saw his back and he was raising his right hand to wave bye bye.  At that moment, I realized that I couldn't afford to lose him.  He was the person I once loved.  Now I still love him but it is impossible to like him anymore.  What should I do? 

At this time, my heart is filled with nothing except sadness, pain, and hurt. I am the only one who understands what these feelings are.  Am I so fragile that I can't stand being hurt.  Deep inside I still really want to hug him and hold onto him for a good cry.  But I know that this is no longer possible.  I really want to cry, but I have no tears.  I opened the window and let the rain hit my face.  The rain drops run on my face as if my tears are pouring down my face. 

窗外看愛過的人

我站在窗前，看着细雨。 在薄雾中，我看到了他的背，他举起右手挥手说再见。 那一刻，我意识到我承受不起失去他的负担。 他是我曾经爱过的人。 现在我仍然爱他，但再也无法喜欢他了。 我该怎么办？

 这时，我的心除了悲伤，痛苦和伤痛之外，什么都没有。 我是唯一了解这些感受的人。 我是如此脆弱嗎？我真的受不了受伤？ 而内心深处，我仍然真的很想拥抱他，并抱着他好好哭一場。 但是我知道这不再可能。 我真的很想哭，但我没有泪。 我打开窗户，让雨淋在我的脸上。 雨滴在我的脸上流淌，好像我的眼泪从我的脸上倾泻而下。